Red Dao Wedding Ceremony
The Red Dao tribe has a very unique and special way of tying the knot, that culminates into a celebration that lasts for three days.
Generally it takes a year in advance to prepare for the celebration, there is the initial match making ritual where the couple’s age and birthdates are checked for compatibility.
For the groom’s family, one of the first things to do is to breed livestock, including chickens and pigs, to be slaughtered several days before the ceremony. The special ‘votive’ of the Red Dao is made from resin. After being boiled, the resin is flattened, dried in the sun and patterns are carved into it. These are used as offerings to the bride’s family. During the preparation for the wedding, as a mark of respect, the bride sews garments and wedding costumes for her in-laws-to-be. The importance of learning to embroider skill fully at a young age for all Red Dao girls is imperative to the success of her eligibility for marrying.
The main ceremony begins with the arrival of the groom. First and foremost, as a mark of good hospitality, the bride’s family offers the groom’s family fresh water and clean towels with which they would use to clean their faces. After this, the groom’s family are offered wine and tobacco.
In the bride’s house, an altar is created for the groom’s family to place the offerings they have prepared. A shaman is always present during such a wedding as he officiates the ceremony. Once the offerings are placed on the altar, the shaman offers prayers to the ancestors for joy and harmony in the marriage and also to inform them of the fact that the bride has now left her birth family to become one with the groom in his family.
After the ritual, the groom’s family treats the bride’s family to a feast using the offerings they have brought with them. The feast is usually prepared with meat and vegetables as well. The groom’s family does not eat the meal, they just prepare the feast and tend to the guests’ needs while they dig in. After the feast, the bride’s family members take their time to treat the groom’s family to a feast as well. At night, the bride goes to sleep in the house of a neighbour or a relative, as she is not allowed to be with the groom until the end of the ceremony and can not return to her family home within the first month of marriage.
The activities of the second day take place in the groom’s house and due to the fact that there are a number of rituals to be performed, the groom’s family creates two altars filled with different kinds of offerings. The first altar is used by the family to pray to the ancestors for the marriage. They will pray for good luck, progress and happiness in the marriage. The second altar is used for a ritual named the ‘groom-naming’, this is because a Red Dao man is said to have three names - a born name, a maturity name and a marriage name. The groom must already have the first two names at different points in his life. The marriage name however is chosen by the shaman and the groom’s parents, before the marriage ceremony.
At the rise of dawn on the last and final day, the bride is adorned in the most beautiful Red Dao wedding costume. Her head is covered with a large red scarf, as it is believed that the purpose of this scarf is to ward off evil spirits. It’s also common for Dao women to shave their eyebrows and sometimes the whole head, coating the skull with wax, which is traditionally regarded a sign of beauty.
She is then accompanied by her family and walks with pride to the groom’s house. They are greeted by the groom’s family with fresh towels and warm water to wipe their faces with. The shaman performs the final ritual where he declares them husband and wife, after which he offers them two cups of wine which they drink. It is believed that drinking the wine together would bring them good fortune.
The guests are also offered wine and large slices of pork and in return, they gift the couple with cash gifts as a mark to wish them good fortune in their marriage. Fabrics are also given as gifts during a Red Dao wedding.
Celebration ensues with a large feast, where the two families and the village elders sit together and share great moments, after which they engage in traditional dancing.